When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking 25 miles to school every morning ... Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how
hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 30, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in Utopia! And I hate to
say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with
a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or IPODS! You wanted to steal music, you had to
hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you
had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone
and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy caller ID either! When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss,
your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't
know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! - with games
like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square!
You actually had to use your Imagination! And there were no multiple
levels or screens; it was just one screen forever, and you could never
win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and
faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on, so you were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to
get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel.
And there was no Cartoon Network either, you could only get cartoons
on Saturday Morning. We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you
spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we
had to use the stove. Imagine that!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!
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